Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Babu

Alam ko sawang sawang sawa na ikaw sa lahat ng pagsasabi kong I will try to be more patient and to lessen how I react. Sabi mo nga, I did try but I just couldn't do it on a regular basis.



I will keep trying to be better, Babu, for me and for you. I want to be better. I'm just really sorry. No excuses. I know I am wrong and I admit that ang sama sama kong tao. As in. Ang sama sama ko sayo. Kahit ako nahihiya ako sa mga pinaggagagawa ko sayo. Gusto kong bawiin lahat ng masama kong sinabi pero too late na nga ako. Palagi na lang ako too late. You love... loved me with everything that you have and yet, I always asked that I be treated more "special" when all along you did the best that you can and I hurled those hurtful words.

Alam ko sawang sawa ka na sa lahat ng sinasabi ko and di mo na ako pinaniniwalaan. I just wish that the break/rest would give us both the opportunity to better ourselves. Like I told you, I will better myself and prepare myself for the lifetime relationship with you even if I know that you are no longer thinking of such things with me -- as of now or or for good. But I will keep hoping and wishing that we'll be back together and I will really prove to you that I have changed kung dumating man ang panahon na yun. Sana dumating. :(

I know back in January I said I was learning to let go na. But you know what, I really wasn't now that I try to recall. I was still hopeful kasi everyday wala akong bukang bibig sa mga tao kundi tulungan ako. I know this time you think that kaya ko na this time na ituluy-tuloy na mag let go completely sayo. I know I can't let go of you, Babu. As in. Because I swear, and I know you won't believe it, I really do look forward to growing old with you. As in sabi ko sa sarili ko and I prayed hard na hinding hindi ako magfalter again because I don't want another G in our lives and because napatunayan kong ikaw talaga yung mahal ko, masama lang talaga ako.

Sorry, Babu. Gusto ko lang magsorry sayo ng magsorry kasi ang sama ng ugali ko. Sana mapatawad mo muli ako at kahit na malabo, sana kahit konti i-consider mo ulit tayong dalawa kapag nakapagpahinga ka na. Magbabago ako. Pursigido ako. Sobrang sorry talaga. :(

I am hoping that we'll be back together someday. Please consider me again.

Thank you for all the love. You gave me the best. I know it's too late like you mentioned to know and realize that you gave me the best love you could ever offer. I have always been thankful for you. Everyday I am. I am sorry I wasn't good with words particularly with good words... I could do it. And I will do it. Because I will keep hoping I will get that chance again to prove to you I can. Pero yun lang, sana dumating pa ung panahon na yun na mukhang malabo na.

Thank you for your time, Babu. I love you. For your consideration still.



Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Unfortunate Fortunate Me

Hello,

Pakwento lang. Madaldal ako kasi ng normal and the person I usually talk to about my mishaps and (non)mishaps is well, still the bestest person for me, but one way na lang. :))

So anywaysss, this morning, so funny, I had an epiphany, in the middle of the street -- If the world indeed was about to come to its end this Friday, I'm one of those who wouldn't mind...

...only because I think I'm not meant to die.

So let me recount the 'series of unfortunate events' that happened to me and how funny each, at least for me.
There was that instance where I was already holding on to an extension cord already in flames, waiting to blow up and I thought I was going to get burned or something, yet nada. Not even a scratch.

Then I think since the month started I've only consumed 1 plate of longganisa with rice, 2 1/2 plates of pasta, 1 sundae, and around 15 sticks of isaw -- in total. Divide that into 18 days, you get the drift, and yet I'm not even a teeny weeny bit hungry. Partida, I've met up with friends already and shiz, walang gutom or anything, ni sakit ng tyan. :))

And this morning, ayun nga while crossing, I slipped in the middle of the street and couldn't stand up coz inaatake ata ako ng CS ko or something. Then nag go na yung traffic light, pwede pala yun parang nagslow mo yung lahat ng sasakyan (or baka talagang nagbagal sila kasi asa gitna ako literal and di makatayo hahaha) tapos I thought my gosh, talagang sa gitna pa ako ng kalsada nadulas and mamamatay, di ako handa, so I just sat there and looked at the approaching cars from both sides (kasi nga nagslowmo yun world and mukhang tanga lang pala nung ginawa ko no hahaha) and then boom, epiphany. I think I'm not going to die if the 'end of the world' will indeed happen this 21st of Dec. Just like how cockroaches will also not perish at the end of the world or masasamang damo ganyan.

Maybe I am that bad no? Matagal bago madeads. Hahahah! Ang incoherent ko hahaha! anyway bow. :)



Kaya ko 'to. :)

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

We are not a reheated cabbage, Dd. We are not.

Dd,
Here I am, removing all pride and arrogance and just so sorry for all the wrong things that I have done (no buts or ifs or anything at all), I am humbly and whole-heartedly telling you that I am really really sorry. I know we have equally pained each other -- you, dismissing me and all of my concerns, and me, cheating on you and still not doing 'enough' for both of us. I really am sorry.

I know it's too late. You've told me that face to face, with no batting of an eyelash and aftewards proceeded with how you do stuff on a normal day. And it hurts coz all along I thought we were more than okay before you left for your birthday. And then you come back with an epiphany that I no longer make you happy.

I'm really really sorry.

I just wanted you to know I really am sincerely with no buts and ifs sorry for what I have done. It was all my mistake and I should have given more than a 100% for you and you alone. That even if you tell me everyday I was stupid and wrong and you hate me and you want to punch me in the face everytime you'll remember, I will take it, it's all okay with me basta we would take it slowly and surely. We should have lived on with how we were before -- one day at a time. It was one of our best formulas ever before. :(

I just wanted you to know that I miss you so much. That I need you so much. That I really can't live without you, Dd.

I will always pray and wish and cry and hope and hold on to you and will always tell you even if it's already impossible that I need and love you.

I really do love you.

Sam

Monday, April 9, 2012

Money talk (Not really)

I don't like money talk. Money for me is like errrr (o_o) ... if you know what I mean.

And as I am not one to earn a gazillion bucks a month, and given the change of net profit for the past year, the change in the pattern in my purchases and acquisitions has drastically moved from your simple: food, transportation, and self indulgences, to life investments and more appealing acquisitions.

Sample items below. Not so grown up for some of you, but kinda grown up for me. -_-

  • Money for the Globe bill, which amounts to I still don't know.
  • Money for the laptop, which should have been settled two years ago had SC been diligent enough to notice the problem.
  • Money for the bill of the cable, which I rarely use.
  • Money for the health insurance of my dad. Coz brother moved to SG, my father's wonderful and complete health insurance has been terminated as well. So now, it's under my care.
  • Money for the groceries, which I don't really eat.
  • Money for a car, which I have no idea how to drive.
  • Money for a condo, well, not really coz this is Babu's purchase. But nonetheless, if I can contribute, then so be it. Yuuuh, Babu's rich like that. Purchasing a not so midrange condo by the Ortigases, good job!
  • Money for another laptop, which is a graduation gift by Babu to ze brother. 
  • Money for the gym membership, which is somewhat costly compared to the others.
  • Money for bonds/stocks because because.
  • Money for other personal expenses. (i.e. Food, Clothes, Experience) Mind you, I usually purchase something within 3 days. Eat out everyday. Go from one place to another via cab and gives tips not lower than 40php because my house is relatively far from civilization, and I feel bad for the cabs who do not get passengers on their way out of our village. Yuuuh.


So, how do I manage again to fit everything with the not so little but not so big salary that I have? I have no idea. But I manage -- sometimes with a little extra on the side for gifts and treats for friends and family...

And that's always good right? :)

Monday, March 12, 2012

I am NOT a fashion blogger


So, it's very rare that you will find anything that has to do with fashion here in my blog. In fact, this will probably my first post about clothes! Hahaha!

Anyway, I've been seeing a lot of online ads about Zalora. Though I am into following trends in fashion, I found myself exploring the website to see the different brands (and clothes) that I might want to buy in the future -- given that I rarely go to malls.

So, found below are the stuff I most certainly would like to have -- if only they were not THAT pricey. The items below may not be as fashion forward as you'd expect from some of those fashion bloggers, but because they're going to complement my fat ass, then me likey! :)

Because pencil skirts are perfect for me -- HAHAHA!
Love love!
I want this!
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