…sleep forever and never having to wake up to a world where people exhaust you to your limits as a person.
She has long been exhausted, maybe counting 10 to 15 years back. The only thing that keeps her going is that God grants her new days.
Lately, I’ve been winning battles left and right;
but even winners can get wounded in the fight.
People say that when you suffer most in this life, you are worthy of it because God sees you strongest and He knows that you will win the battle.
She is winning her battles. But she’s all covered with scars.
People say that I'm amazing; I’m strong beyond my years.
Professionals she’s spoken with have this one conclusion about her: she pushed herself to grow up just so she could understand the people who stabbed her; just so she could comprehend the situations she was in when she was a kid, until she brought it when she was growing up.
She talks like she knows lots of things, something not common for someone her age. She’s not saying she’s full of wisdom, but she knows how things ‘feel’.
But they don’t see inside of me; I’m hiding all the tears.
She is well known for crying because of pressure, frustration and suppressed disappointment on unsigned papers, on delayed projects, on low scores; something, she admits, are too shallow to cry for. It is because you have never seen her cry because of deeper problems.
Inside, she’s no longer crying tears, she’s crying red.
People say that I’m amazing; I never face retreat.
But they don’t see the enemies that lay me at His feet.
She never faces retreat, because she has never experienced failing. For her, retreating is an act for people who do not know their capabilities; who are afraid to confront their weaknesses; who do not want to recognize that Someone beyond them is the only answer.
She has never experienced failure, because she knows her abilities and she knows that she can have Someone greater than her whom she can use to win her battles.
Deep inside this armor a warrior is a child.
She will always be a kid no matter what. She has been fighting her battles since her mind took memories, and she will remain that way till the day she elevates herself to the next form.
“those who think highly of themselves will be humbled; and those who humble themselves will be made great.”
...that by being humble, you recognize your strengths and you share your strengths with other people ...that you do not belittle your capabilities because you know that it is God given, and that everything that God gives is worth bragging about.
She gives back. :)