Friday, March 13, 2009

\ : self relenting

Holding anger is a poison...It eats you from inside...We think that by hating someone we hurt them...But hatred is a curved blade...and the harm we do to others...we also do to ourselves.
---quote from Five People You Meet In Heaven.

if there is one thing i learned in my work experience(s), especially with my very first employer, the quotation above would suffice. earlier readers of this blog and my multiply site, witnessed how much soul searching i needed when i got out of my previous company. needless to say, everything went blank after that first work. the pain i felt was so intense that i needed to really find myself; to the point that i even wanted out (in this industry and out of this country).

then the pain turned to anger. i hated my boss (and later, the company, after they gave me an 'alternative' job offer just so i will still stay with them-- this only few people would know; irvin, lish, gelo, aine, ven, diana, etc...). the ill feelings i had for them mounted to wanting to get work way above what they expected of me, just so that i can tell it straight to their faces, "hell yeah! in your face, people. im in a waaaaaaaaaaaay better company and is treated waaaaaaaaaaaay better there."

and i did. i got in a better, more renowned, and uber awarded company, sought after by so many, in this industry. though i knew at the back of my mind that i wasn't entirely ecstatic in the idea of venturing into a career with this new company, i still accepted the offer because i wanted to prove much of myself to my former boss, and was too overwhelmed by how big this company's name is.


when you enter things you are not one hundred percent sure of, or pushing through something out of anger or revenge and/or the likes, you most likely are gift wrapping a headache and heartache in a time bomb to be opened in a very near future.

then it all kaboooooms!

and then you realize, anger is a poison, which you use to kill yourself. it eats you.

amen? amen.


(back)slash would me a whole lot of things... /anger; /everything. \opportunity; \learnings. \sheesh.

i continue to thank those who knew better and still are mindful of how i feel up to this very moment. sheeeesh pa din :) hahahah not everyone knows and understands.

i've moved on. and has forgiven a lot of people.

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